Bobo, my “youngest,” is an introvert, a momma’s boy, a homebody. He has always kept to himself, happily playing a hand held game or drawing. He would sit for an hour drawing on his magnadoodle or playing with Lego’s.
We have always just joked about it a bit and called him “quirky.” But now it’s getting just a tad bit annoying.
Anytime we walk out of the house, he is crying that he “doesn’t want to go bye bye.” As soon as we are in the car he “want’s to go home!” We can’t get through a meal out with out him complaining. Half of our vacation was spent listening to him whine about going home.
And it’s getting worse.
He will not talk or interact with hardly anyone other than myself. He does play well with his brothers, but even his dad gets a cold shoulder most of the time. Grandma only gets attention when she has ice cream.
I don’t know what (if anything) I should do to help him. He’s never been in day care or preschool. I have thought about putting him in day care 1-2 times a week just so he could get some outside world exposure. I don’t know if this will help him or just traumatize him.
Does anyone else have a child like this? Is there anything I can do to help him be happier in the outside world, make him comfortable outside of his home?
You can always talk to his doctor about it. If its’ starting to interfere with his every day life it’s gone from being a quirk to a problem. There’s nothing wrong with quirky. Our whole family is quirky LOL.
I thought about asking his doctor because it seems to be getting worse. I needed to bring the boys with me to pick up big brother from school and he had a melt down. *sigh*
OH, and I didn’t even mention how he didn’t go to the zoo with me and his brothers because he wanted to say home. What kid say’s “no” to the zoo?!
Maybe you need to sign him up for an organized activity like tae kwan do (sp?) or karate. There is a karate studio beside of where my DD takes dance and I know they take 3-4 year olds. There might be a place in your area that does too. I agree also with the post about talking to your pediatrician. I don’t think this is quirky; to me it sounds problematic. Good luck!
Thanks Christy. We are in a small town. The local Martial Arts Studio doesn’t (or didn’t) have classes for like under 7. I remember checking into them for Anthony. But it’s a good idea to try and find an activity.
We’ve done some playdates and he plays (likes the park) but won’t interact with the other kids. Either just himself or me.
I would see about trying to get him involved in some sort of activity that he would enjoy just to get him used to going out. Maybe an art class or something like that. Or story time at the library.
OH. I forgot about library story time. It wasn’t doable before…but might work now. Thanks for that.
My nephew was very much like this, and my SIL would schedule weekly activities in advance (like library, trampoline class, and playdates). He wouldn’t mind so much leaving if he had it in the schedule….but hated to be surprised by anything with leaving the house. So is he quirky about schedules and routines?
Yes. I can’t surprise him with anything…but that’s typical of most toddlers so I never really thought about it. I do try to do a lot of notices for most things.
I would definitely talk to his pediatrician about this, like others mentioned, just in case there may be something else. Maybe try and schedule stuff and remind him days in advance to get him excited about going. Something geared around his interest.
Thanks Laurie.
I guess I’m off to call the ped!
I was one of those kids. I wasn’t crazy about leaving the house. I put on a good show but I wasn’t really happy going out and about and interacting with others. I felt alone at parties – even if they were my own birthday parties with my friends. However, it was not debilitating for me. I still was able to function well.
I think you really need to pin down whether it’s a quirk or something that is really causing him to not be able to function at all. Is he a complainer in general? If he is, then maybe he just wants to complain about not being a home. If he’s not, then maybe it’s a high level of anxiety about the unknown.
1st suggestion is one you’re already doing. Schedule things in advance as much as possible and let him know about them. Put a calendar down at his level on the wall or fridge and point out the date to him so that he can keep tabs on it. If he can’t read, then draw pictures. Or let him draw a picture on the date himself so that he can recognize it better. *Example- I would freak when I was suddenly told that I had to go to a doctor’s appointment. I wouldn’t freak if I knew about it a week or so in advance.*
My 2nd suggestion, is speaking with his pediatrician. He or she might have have an idea about what’s going on. Every kid is different. And this leads into suggestion #3.
My 3rd suggestion, and it might not be one you like, is a low dose antidepressant. I started taking one a year or so ago. At first I didn’t think it was doing anything for me. I didn’t feel any different. Then I sat back and realized that it was Christmas time and I didn’t feel my normal high level of anxiety. It was still there. But the meds were definitely taking the edge off. THAT was noticable to me.
Anyhow, for what it’s worth, your son is probably a normal kid with a bit of quirkiness mixed in. Quirkiness makes us unique and interesting. We’re all quirky here.
And by the way? I’m still introverted.
Thank you SO much for sharing this with me! I appreciate it.
He’s not generally a complainer, but he has become increasingly more whiny about things. I don’t know if it’s related.
I do just want to pinpoint if it’s a quirk or a problem. I don’t want to force him out and traumatize him but I also don’t want to let it get worse by leaving him home all the time. KWIM?
I think next week I will be calling his doctor just so I can make him aware and see if he has any thoughts.
Thanks!
Yeah… I’m not sure what else to suggest. The more I think on it the more I’m guessing it might be an anxiety thing. He might be just THAT much more comfortable in his own house, his own surroundings, with his own things. Outside is full of the unknown and the unexpected. He might have sensory overload with lot of things and/or people around too.
Let me know what the pedi says. You’ve piqued my interest.
Just remember that whatever it is – whether normal or needing a little bit of help. In the long run, he’ll be fine.
My daughter is almost the same way. She will go places, the store, park, etc… but doesn’t like small places with lots of people and will melt down under the pressure. Even in her own home. If we have visitors and they include children, when they get too close to her she freaks. Even at the park she gets frozen with panic and screams for me. I have to come get her from where ever she is. She has also been home with me for a long time. She started preschool last week and is doing OK. She LOVES to go, but panics when it is time for me to leave. “But, mom there are kids there!”
She will normally calm down and get comfortable after a while, but it take a good half hour or so. I feel so bad for her because I know that she wants to have fun and play.
I agree that getting involved is the best thing for your son. Maybe the library is the best place to start. Maybe just the two of you for some stories and then work up to story time on your lap. Then maybe a mommy and me music class or family fun class somewhere. Maybe a YMCA near you?
Good luck and keep us posted!!!
I think I would get him signed up for some activities outside of the house. Not too many, you don’t want to overwhelm him. Maybe even separately from his brother so he has to interact with others.
It will be good for him
[...] had fun picking pumpkins except Bobo. He’s a homebody and all he wanted to do was go home. His big brother had to pick his pumpkin for him and put it [...]