I picked Mr. A. up from school yesterday. There are about 10 children that get out on half day at noon. We pick the kids up at a back gate and the teacher assistant always walks them out to meet us.
Yesterday was no different than any other day until we were leaving.
Mr. A. saw his friend in the front of the school and yelled “Bye ‘Friend’!”
I noticed his friend was on the verge of tears.
I asked him, “…are you okay? Where is your mommy?”
Friend, “I don’t know, she’s not here!”
I told him we would wait with him that his mommy must just be running a bit behind.
You can see the back gate from the front gate (they are across the playground from each other). So I told the boys to stay together while I peeked around the building thinking perhaps his mom was over there looking for him. But nobody was at the back gate.
The little friend was so upset.
We chatted for a few minutes. Still no mommy. Nobody seemed to be looking for him at all.
Finally after about 10 minutes, I suggested we go find his teacher. Perhaps there was a message about his mommy running late or something. Surely you would think someone was missing this little boy.
I went into the classroom. The TA was sitting by the door. I told her, “I have ‘friend’ out here and his mommy isn’t here yet.”
She gets up and is surprised! She says something, “oh my, I thought he had gone home with his mom!”
She looked rather embarrassed.
Then she gets down to his level, wasn’t mean or anything, but says “why did you go out the front? You know you are supposed to come out the back gate with your class. Don’t ever leave your class like that, okay?”
She thanks me profusely and took the little boy around back to look for his mommy.
While I was leaving, I did see his mommy pull into the parking lot. So I was glad to know that she made it. This was twelve minutes late.
Now, this is my problem: The school didn’t know this little boy was missing!
What if I hadn’t been me, but had been someone evil? This little boy could have turned into a statistic! What if he went wandering looking for his mom and got lost or made it to the street? I am so freaked out looking back on the whole incident. I just think, what if it had been Mr. A? He is super friendly, he would have gone with whoever or where ever looked interesting.
What should I do? Anything? Should I mention it to the principle or the teacher? This TA seems to be well loved and respected and I don’t necessarily want to get her in trouble, but I think this is serious. Am I over reacting?
I’ve heard of schools putting plans in place to prevent this from happening. I would be concerned if it were my child left alone. And while I’m sure the TA just made a mistake, I would probably mention it to someone….maybe just the teacher.
Maybe I can email the teacher and just make her aware?
I understand she is just human and mistakes happen, but it’s really bothering me.
I would definitely notify teacher AND principal. No child should be a potential statistic. If it happens once, it will happen again. And perhaps next time it will be with same TA, or someone different. When it comes to a child’s safety and well-being, in my opinion, you can never be too cautious.
Wow…tough call. I think you should bring it up with the teacher and the TA first before going to the principal. What if the principal has a “no tolerance” feeling about these things and fires the TA and/or the teacher? Then you’d feel bad about that too.
People are only human. She seemed genuinely concern for the boy. If she had a “who cares” or “so what” attitude then I would go right to the principal.
I used to be a student aid and lunch monitor, often responsible for two classrooms at a time (40-50 kids). We’re only human and can only do the best we can. I’m a worry wart to begin with so if I didn’t see a child I would instantly freak out. I’m sure most people are like that too.
If it was just the one time then just talk to the two teachers. If you see it happen again then yes, go to the principal.
I don’t think you are over reacting at all. You are a mom. You know what can happen in an instant.
Thanks Kimberly! Yeah, I would feel terrible if I got her in trouble, but I do worry about the “what if?”
*ugh* I really don’t like confrontation at all so I’m likely to not say anything at all and then “if” something happened again I would just feel terrible.
I think she probably learned her lesson. She obviously cares about the kids, so I would think it wouldn’t happen again. But, I would be sure to be early everyday to watch out for my kid!
You are probably right and I do think she learned her lesson. She did look really embarrassed. Lucky for me, I tend to be early everywhere I go!
Tough call. I think it needs to be brought to someone’s attention. That little boy is very lucky that is was you who found him. We might have been hearing about it on the news otherwise.
I just think if it was my child, I would have freaked out and ran to the principal’s office. So I’d probably do the same for another ones child.
Thanks Crystal. I think I am going to email the teacher just to let her know what happened for now and leave it be….unless it happens again!
I’d meet with the teacher and TA and just find out what their policies are. Did this little guy just slip through the cracks, a one time incident? Or do they not really have any plans in place for safely releasing the children? If they don’t have a good safety plan in place, I suggest speaking with the principal and helping to organize one.
Absolutely NOT okay. We have to sign in our children with the name of the person picking them up. They won’t release them from their classroom till that person gets there.
Do you sign them out in Kindergarten? That sounds like a great policy.
We pick the kids up in front of the school. The kids come out (2 classes at the same time) in a line from the exterior door that each classroom has, with 2 teachers and 2 teachers aides for the 2 classrooms.
They sit or stand next to the school as the cars come around the circular drive. They usually load 3 kids at a time while the 4th teacher sort of directs the kids on which teacher will be loading them depending upon how the cars are lined up.
It is very efficient and seems very safe. They walk each child to the car and help them get in. I can’t imagine any kid getting lost or going to the wrong place.
Personally, I would email the teacher not to tattle on the aide but just to make sure she knows what happened. You should be concerned and the kid’s safety is much more important than the aide’s embarrassment.
This is how it works on half days when the entire school gets out at the same time. But my son (and his friend) get out early so I think it’s a bit different.
What happened is she brought the 10 (or so) kids out the classroom door to the side gate but his friend went on his own out to the front gate. Nobody ever saw him leave.
No, you have to mention something, because she did mess up, and yes, that kid could’ve been taken by just anyone. The fact of the matter is, he went missing on their watch, and you caught it, and they need to fix it so that doesn’t happen in the future. He wandered. Is there no way for there to be a hall monitor to ensure people are where they need to be? Are there not locks at the doors for every hall but the front, only to open when an alarm goes off or a card swipes it open? You definitely need to speak with the principal, this was a big deal.
As for your son, Stranger Safety made by the America’s Most Wanted guy is a great DVD to share, non-frighteningly, to explain that not everyone is safe to go with.
*hugs* you were there that day for a reason. Way to go!
It’s an open air school, there are no doors at the ends of hallways.
Thanks Lisa for helping me not think I was overreacting.
Since she is relatively a good TA, how about writing a friendly ;etter to the TA, recalling the incident and how concerned it made you. Include that you realize she’s human, and that you aren’t upset at her. I think this way she’ll for sure remember and not allow this situation to happen again. There’s no way she’ll be so spatzy again since you’ve called it to her attention, but you didn’t put her job on the line. Did the childs Mother share any concerns?
I never talked to the mom. I saw her pulling in as I was pulling out. This was only yesterday so I don’t know if anything was said.
I’d mention it to the teacher first, principal if it ever happens again. It could have been an honest mistake. I’m surprised this happened as all the schools we’ve dealt with have had such strict pick up policies.
Oh, I’m sure it was just an honest mistake. But a mistake that could have been terrible. I was really surprised that it happened, too.
I’d mention it to the teacher or even the parent. Our school pick up policy is the kids can’t leave the gate without the teacher seeing the parent. Even though there are a lot of parents it works out well. There was once I was like two minutes behind and my son slipped through. He was wandering screaming for me. I talked to him and then I talked to his teacher. No problems and she was grateful I said something. Good luck. It’s terrifying!
Yeah, I would def. say something. She may have learned her lesson but what if she didn’t and the same thing happens again but without a good outcome. Then you’d feel terrible! She is TA they have to learn one way or another when they are responsible for all these kids.
Story: Last year my daughters friend’s mom called me and asked if her little girl was at my house because they couldn’t find her. Of course I was incredibly upset and worried because she wasnt at my house and we hadn’t seen her all day. (It was an early dismissal day.) She said that the little girls grandpa was supposed to pick her up and when he got there she was gone so they thought she got on the bus to go home. Well….she did! She wasn’t supposed to because no one was home at her house. After a while they found her at a neighbors house (they didn’t really even know this neighbor but they did have a couple kids, one of which rides the bus with her.) When she realized that her parents weren’t home she told the bus driver and he told her she had to get off the bus anyways so he sent her home with the neighbor kid (a ‘strangers’ house since they didn’t know them.) Thank God she was ok and they found her but the school knew she was going to be picked up and when the teacher was asked she said she thought she got on the bus but wasnt sure because she didnt actually see her get on. The mom went OFF on the school administraters, teacher and bus co.
They need to be safer and smarter when it comes to the safety of OUR children. I would def say something to either the teacher in charge or the school admin. or both. If she gets in trouble it’s not your fault…its hers for not being careful with someone elses kid. And that’s prob why she looked so embarrassed!
Sorry this was so long!
Wow, Stef. So scary for your friend! I couldn’t imagine!! I think that’s exactly why I was so upset. What if?
And this TA is an older lady. She was a certified teacher on the East Coast. It’s not like she is some young teenager who gets confused…she has been doing this a long time!
What about contacting the school and just tell them that you saw this happen and are concerned about the safety plan they have. Maybe ask to know what the official policy is, and tell them you just want to make sure nothing happens to your kid in the future. Then it’s not necessarily a “This TA screwed up” it’s more of an “I want to protect my kid” talk. Does that make sense?
At my daughters school, the kindergardeners dont get let out in front of the school. The parents have to pick them up from their classroom or, the teacher walks them out front to wait for their car but always stays with their students.
I would call and talk to the school and what their policy is ,explain what happened without names and that you are concerned.
Maybe they will kick up the safety for kids.
The school Aidan went to the first 2 weeks of school didn’t notice when he left either. He followed me home and when I brought him back they hadn’t even noticed. And noone even acted concerned that he had been missing. I’m glad he’s not at that school anymore for a million reasons but that’s a biggie. I’m glad you were there instead of a sicko. Did you tell the mom what happened? Maybe she should be the one to make a stink over it.
Hey Sissy, I haven’t seen the mom yet to mention it. I should see her this afternoon. I plan on telling her, I would want to know.
I do think that’s terrible and dangerous. I know with all those kids to watch it is hard to keep track of them all, but something needs to be done to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Someone else could have taken him. You hear things like that sometimes, and you just never know. Someone should discuss that with someone higher up to put a policy in place or something so it doesn’t happen again!
I don’t think you are overreacting at all.
In our neighborhood we have had our first “pedophile” move in and although the community knows about it we are all on edge.
Yikes! So scary!
I think you should email the teacher AND try to talk to the little boy’s mother to let her know. If that happened to your son, wouldn’t you want to know? I don’t know you personally, but I can tell this is eating away at you and it will continue to do so until you say something to the teacher and/or the parent of the boy. When my son was in kindergarten the teacher stayed with the kids directly outside of the classroom until a parent/guardian picked the child up. The aide took the children who were riding the bus home to the bus stop and waited until they all got on the appropriate bus home. This worked well for everyone. Remember – whomever you decide to tell about this – you are doing the right thing! Good luck!
This is quite alarming! I would definitley have to say something. Who knows how many times it has happened before. The TA may very well be loved but the school needs to be made aware of this incident.
Is it just me or does anyone else think that there is supposed to be SOMEONE making sure there isn’t a kid left alone?
I agree! I think that’s why I am bothered. Nobody even knew he was missing!
I’m off to email the teacher now and I will talk with the mother this afternoon.
I would be horrified if it was my child standing outside alone, that is just not right. To tell the child basically he should know not to go out there is also wrong (regardless of how nicely it was said). It is not a child’s fault, he knew he was supposed to go with the other kids to leave and his mom was not there. I know things happen and I have been late to pick up my own child, but I call the school and tell them I am in route so the car line knows not to send him out!
I think I would say something to the Principal just so they know that there was a glitch in their procedure that really should be addressed.
Well, you can’t lock the doors (fire hazard) and with x number of children per teacher they can’t watch them all all the time. It is just pure and simply the truth.
You might suggest something like giving the kids a sticker or stamp when they leave so they all come to the back gate. The TA can say STICKER TIME over here and then you can go home. That might help some.