Mr. A. has been a baseball player for four weeks. He is already wanting to call it quits!
He plays ball on Sunday’s and has practice on Monday’s. This past Monday he was goofing off and not listening to the coach. Coach made him run laps! You see, Mr. A. has a problem with using his ears (don’t all 5 year olds?). He is this way at home and it’s carrying over into baseball, too.
After practice on Monday, he declared “pull me out of baseball, mom. I don’t want to play anymore.”
When I asked him “why?” he told me “because it’s too hard! All I do is stand out there and be hot.”
On this day, he was miffed that he was forced to run laps, but it wasn’t the first time he had asked me to pull him out of baseball.
He’s so cute in his uniform! There is nothing more adorable than watching a field full of 5 year olds chasing after balls and running bases.
So what would you do? I don’t want him to think that just because something is a little “hard” that he can/should quit. On the other hand, I told him at the beginning that if he ever didn’t like playing anymore that he could quit. I don’t want to be one of those parents obsessed with their boys excelling in sports, and I wouldn’t force him to play.
I’m at a crossroads here and I’m not sure which value is the better one to teach. I don’t really want him quitting. He generally seems to enjoy playing…when he’s not getting into trouble.
I don’t want to force it on him either.
*sigh*
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I would say…don’t make him do it, but try again next year. My son was the same way his first year of baseball. It was boring, his attention was everywhere else but on catching the ball, the kid would do cartwheels in the outfield. He hated it. We gave him a break from it and tried again last year. He got a little less bored with it..but it started to get more fun for him. This past year he had an absolute blast with baseball and LOVES it! Part of it could just be a maturity thing. Kids that young just don’t have the attention span for a 1 1/2 game.
I’d stick it out for the season. He may grow to love it. Then, no pressures for next year. KWIM? The photos are darn cute!
*BTW, it was great to meet you in NYC! I had a lot of fun!
Okay, our rule is if you start it, you finish it. He doesn’t have to sign up for it again, but in this house (we’re meanies) we’d make him finish out the season.
I also think that the coach can become you ally…if he’s having to run laps for not listening and that’s something you work on at home…all the better! When my oldest was having a hard time following directions at 5, his Sensei at Karate did WONDERS for him. Sometimes it needs to come from someone else.
Hi Stacy
Do you think I could make him run laps at home, too? lol
Since you don’t want to make him play sports if he doesn’t want to and you don’t want him to think that it is okay to quit just because things get tough why don’t you try switching to another sport like soccer or flag football. Baseball is so boring, I can only image trying to deal with it as a five year old. Soccer is pretty much a non-stop sport so he’d actually be interacting with the other kids and he really wouldn’t have time to get in trouble for googing off while he’s bored.
Don’t let him quit, make him stick it out the rest of the year, remind him if he would listen he wouldn’t have to run laps. Then next year give him the option of playing again or not remind him how hard it was and it will be but he made it through last year, but its up to him if he wants to play. That is what we did with the girls it turned out they really loved to play, just didn’t like the work but knew if they wanted to do it they had to put the effort into it because its not just about them its about the whole team your not only letting yourself down your letting the team down. That might help if he knows the team is counting on him.
I’d say give him a chance, like 2 more games and a few practices, see if his opinion changes.
I’m more of a “stick with it”. You don’t sound like a “pushy” parent, so I’m not worried that you’re making him do it for wrong reasons. It;s important to do it for the right reasons though, and it sounds like it may be something that helps him learn several skils. BTW, my son is very much like yours!
I would make a deal…like try it for this many more games and practices and then make a decision. Maybe try to find out what the real reason is that he wants to quit. (Doesn’t enjoy it? Because he got in trouble? Worried about it? etc)
I’m not one to force my little one to continue anything either, but I want to be sure he will be happy with his decision. Though I did let him quit soccer year before last because he wasn’t enjoying it and the coach was a moron. (She had no regards for the safety of these little kids.)
But I would definitely keep the experience positive and try again next year! (And maybe look into something non-competitive/not as structured. We do tumbling and it’s a perfect fit, gets out lots of energy without all the rules of other sports.)
I think right now is a good time to show him that you can’t quit anything. I wish my mom wouldn’t have let me. but to be quite honest for her it was a chore to tote me around, so when I said, i don’t wanna, she said ok, and that was that. (not the case with my bro, but that is another advice section!)
Don’t make it seem like punishment, or he will never want to do anything like it in the future, but I sincerely wish my mom had made me stick it out, and not let me quit dance, and gymnastics etc.
If he doesn’t want to next year, don’t make him though.
My son tried t-ball at 4 years old and he was bored, too. There just isn’t much for them to do at that age with that game. We did make him finish out the season, though. That’s how we choose to do things…you want to sign up for something then you have to follow through. If they don’t want to sign up again, that’s fine. He tried soccer for a couple of seasons and liked it ok. He still didn’t really pay a whole lot of attention at the games (lol) but he said he liked being there. We’ve taken a break the last 2 seasons so I’m curious to see if he would be more attentive now that he’s a little older (6 now).
My daughter begged to take Tae Kwon Do. She started back when she was about 7 years old. After a couple of years she was complaining about wanting to quit. We told her that we had already put a lot of time and money into it and she needed to at least achieve a black belt and then she could decide whether to continue or not. She did earn her black belt this year and she was so proud of herself. I am glad we “made” her stay with it. She is starting to get a little bored with it now…I hate to see her stop, but she has been at it for almost 5 years now. We talked to her teacher about being bored and he said that’s pretty normal after getting the black belt because there isn’t as much to learn.
So, I think we’re going to let her stop but she needs to find something else she’s interested in doing. I would love for her to do something with physical activity, but she is more of the artsy type…she wants to take piano lessons now.
Thanks everyone for your thoughts. You all just reinforced my thoughts of not letting him quit. I’m not a big fat meanie…I’m not! lol
no your not a meanie or fat. but he will probably be glad to finish out the season.
Sounds like he just isn’t ready for team sports yet. In a year or two that could change. In the meantime, if you make him stay you could risk him hating the game all together.
Our son is 5 too and we are going to set a one year rule. If you still dont like it by the end of the season then you dont have to keep going. A lot can happen to turn their frustration around in a few months.
Lucy
Rhea, our rule around here is if you sign up for a sport, then you finish the season. After that, there is no pressure to play again. I think it’s important to make the kids understand that if they commit to something then they have to finish. I’m not sure of how many more games and practices he has left, but I would show him how many there are and count down with him till he’s done. That might make it easier for him. Good Luck!
Once my kids make a committment to the team, it’s not fair to quit. The other players depend on them as part of the team. My daughter picked weeds during t-ball, so that lasted one season. We switched to soccer, which is much more exciting and engaging. Give it a try.
having watched plenty of our friends’ 5 year olds suffer through baseball or t-ball, we’ve decided to start tristan out in soccer instead. i think soccer is much easier to understand, plus they get way more exercise that way! but i do think that he should just stick it out to the end of the season, then maybe give him a choice next year as to whether he’d like to try baseball again, or switch to soccer or another sport.
That’s great that you aren’t letting him quit. I don’t necessarily think it’s great to push kids, but I don’t think it’s great to let them quit the first time they encounter something they don’t like. And I don’t think you are being pushy at all.
I agree – he does look adorable in his uniform!
My son did the SAME thing when he played t-ball at age 5. He LOVED it at first, especially the uniform, etc. But like your son, his attention wasn’t all there and he got bored. But after paying “x” amount for the registration and “x” amount for the uniform and cleats, I really didn’t want him to give up so fast. Even when it’s a city league, it gets expensive! And his dad (we’re divorced) was a total jerk about it and told him he was being a “weeny” if he gave up etc. I, the “mother-coddeler”, didn’t want my son to be upset or feel forced into playing, but being an ex-athlete myself, I really wanted him to at least finish the season and get their little trophies etc (which I knew he would LOVE). So I told him just to stick it out for the few weeks that were left and he would be excited and happy he did because there was a reward when it was over. That won him over because he REALLY wanted that trophy (and the pizza/pool party too!). He finished and played the following year and really enjoyed it. I realized though that he loves to play the game, he just doesn’t want to do the hard work that comes with it!
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