The Dynamics of One Plus Twins
My twins are completely opposite in every way. From what they eat, how they look, their personalities and senses of humor. But one thing I can count on being the same, is that they (almost) always play well together. I don’t know if it’s a “twin thing” or what. But I get complimented all the time about how well they get along.
They will play a two player Wii game for an hour and never argue about who’s doing what wrong.
They will play pretend with their “persons” and never scuffle.
They will run around outside on the playground or their bikes and I won’t hear from them for hours (I have to secretly check on them).
Planes, trains and automobiles hardly ever hear an argument from them.
Now don’t get me wrong…they do have their squabbles and usually fists go flying, but it doesn’t happen very often.
Then, enter their big brother.
Mr. A. comes along and suddenly there is conflict. Bobo mostly keeps to himself, so it’s Mr. A. and Naynay that are doing most of the fighting. Mr. A. is very controlling. So he is bossing and yelling at his smaller brother. There are fights and screaming and it’s enough to drive a mommy batty.
I’ve said since the day the twins were born…the two of them together have always been easier than just one of Mr. A.
Mr. A. is intense and loud and wild.
The little people are laid back and mellow (notice I didn’t say “quiet?”)
I dread my kindergartner coming home from school because things always get tense. They dynamics always change so much.
I kind of feel bad for the older brother. I think he feels left out sometimes when the little brothers are playing so nicely and I can tell he just wants to join in. The little people speak their own silent “twin” language or something. They can effectively shut out big brother and he in turn gets angry and loud and the tension comes back.
Maybe it’s something that will balance out as they all get older. I’m sure the twins will always have their thing. I just hope Mr. A. gets to be a part of it someday.
You described my situation to a T I have 3 year old twin girls and they play very well together. When my older daughter gets into the mix CHAOS always ensues! I feel for ya- I too always hope it balances out!
All we can do is hope, huh? lol! I will hope really hard!
Good thing I started with twins… I think if we have another child, it will be at least 3 to 5 years from now so there is some separation in age, but I also get concerned that the older twin brothers would pick on our next one (if we were to have another).
We’ve told Anthony to watch out because the little boys will be big someday and gang up on him! lol!
Oh my gosh! Sometimes we have that exact same thing going on, and I’ve wondered where I went wrong with the oldest. Or if one twin is off somewhere, things are ok, until she comes back. Maybe once they all get a little older things will be a little easier? We can hope so…
hhmmm…so I guess it’s not just a boy thing then either. *sigh* Your girls are the same age as my boys, so I guess it’s normal. Doesn’t mean we have to like it!
I don’t know if I could handle twins! My husband has wanted twins ever since the beginning lol. It probably is nice to have a 24/7 playdate! They probably will let big brother into the picture sooner or later but I bet they will always have a strong bond!
PS LOVE your header!
My two little people are not twins but they look like they are and love each other like they are. It’s wonderful
I don’t have twins, but w/ 4 kids I see it all too. 3/4 can play well by themselves or with others. The one that won’t play by herself is #3 (age 6), and fights with everyone. Then when I separate her for fighting, she just sits on her bed, (most of the time falling asleep) because she ‘doesn’t have anyone to play with’. It’s a regular cycle…
My girls are 8 years apart. My oldest is 9 and youngest is 15 months. Not sure why, but whenever the 9 yo gets close to the 15 month old the 15 month old screams. I wish my girls would play nicely together. Maybe in time.