Comments on: I am Not A “Natural” at Parenting

By: Julie Bianchi

Julie Bianchi — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 09:29:08 +0000

Wow – I think we’re twins!! You sound so much like me I felt like I was reading my own story! When my son was born 12 years ago, I was OVERJOYED because my doctors told me I couldn’t get pregnant. He was such a good baby and I loved being a mom. I worked full time, cooked dinner, played with him – life was GREAT! But I was married to an asshole and finally left when my son was starting 1st grade. Since then, I’ve had two major neck surgeries that left me in constant pain and unable to work anymore so I had to be medically retired. I also, in a pain pill induced haze, temporary got back with my ex about 5 years ago for about a month and low and behold, I GOT PREGNANT! So, now I have a 4 year old daughter along with my 12 year old son. My daughter is sooo the opposite of how my son was as a baby/toddler. She is into EVERYTHING and has so much energy I was to just run away and hide! I get so mad at them when they don’t listen to me and yeah, I swear a lot too. I don’t do crafts with my daughter like I did with my son because she won’t actually do anything BUT make a mess! I should mention that I was almost 40 when I had my daughter and I am basically raising them by myself with 95% custody. Being a stay-at-home mom is the HARDEST JOB IN THE WORLD! I had such a better outlook on life when I was working and just couldn’t wait to get home to my son. Now, like you, I try EVERYTHING to make them stay home with my mom so I can go shopping alone just so I can get some peace and quiet. Oh and I just know when my daughter starts kindergarten this fall I will be getting phone calls about her swearing! So don’t feel bad, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Oh and I never had to spank my son but my daughter, that’s another story! I HATE to spank but NOTHING else gets thru to her! Oh, and regarding the poo in the pants, I hid her pull-ups that she only wears at night time, but she found them and keeps putting them on when she wants to go poo=poo because she STILL won’t go in the toilet. Sorry for the novel, but boy, you hit a nerve and made me feel a whole lot better because now I know I am not alone and someone else is having just as hard a time as I am. But you really do have a good excuse – you have also given birth for another couple in between your own boy’s birth and now you’re pregnant again! So you really have to consider your hormones are RAGING and have been the whole time you have been a mom because you have been so graciously carrying babies for other couples who can’t have them on their own. So hang in there and give yourself a break. You are a wonderful person who is doing wonderful things for other couples and I think once you have this baby, you will be able to relax and have fun with your children.

By: mommy23monkeys

mommy23monkeys — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 03:55:57 +0000

Thanks Renee. I appreciate you telling me to shut up and get real. lol!

By: renee

renee — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 02:32:42 +0000

I love my daughter but no one can get on my nerves any faster than her because she likes to talk….all the time….constantly. Kids are annoying–they are like cute little crazy people that play by their own rules and cannot, no matter how hard you try, be reasoned with. But, we love them, God do we love them and want to protect them and thank our lucky stars that they are healthy and growing. June Cleaver=NOT REAL. You ARE real–stop telling yourself you are a bad mother because you are going to start believing it and it’s just not true. You wouldn’t try so hard and feel so bad when you don’t do things “perfectly” if you were a bad mother. You just wouldn’t give a damn. You’d be doing drugs or something. Maybe you just need a break, some time for you. Everybody gets frustrated but that doesn’t make you a bad mom

By: mommy23monkeys

mommy23monkeys — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 01:10:21 +0000

LOL! Maybe we should start a savings account for them just for therapy?

By: Sissy

Sissy — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 14:17:21 +0000

My God, that is EXACTLY how I felt with Aidan. He was AWFUL! I’m not sure who cried more, me or him. He was colicky too so probably him but I was a close 2nd. And I yell and cuss and throw fits to rival theirs any day. I actually suck at the mother thing. I’m just hoping they turn out okay anyway. Or at least grow up to make enough money to pay for therapy.

By: Stefani

Stefani — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 13:56:59 +0000

I think me and you got a lot in common! I feel bad to say, but my kids can really be irritating. I love them though and wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world, but being a mom is one stressful job.
Stefani´s last blog ..ItzBeen Review And Giveaway

By: mommy23monkeys

mommy23monkeys — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 04:09:46 +0000

Thanks Kimberly. I do try, hard. I’ve been cooking a lot from scratch and trying to let them help (ugh). But its so hard for me. I’ll start with the cooking because I’m good at it and maybe I’ll work on the cussing later…hopefully they won’t get thrown out of school for bad language. LOL

By: mommy23monkeys

mommy23monkeys — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 04:07:57 +0000

ha, you would be surprised at how much EASIER my twins are…mostly. Of course, they are at an age and they gang up on me a lot. But they are easier than my very intense 5yo.

By: Kimberly

Kimberly — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 03:43:45 +0000

I work with new families for a living and I don’t think anyone else is mustering up much June Cleaver mojo either, most just aren’t totally honest about everything…everyone’s got their strong points and also has the things that could maybe use some more work except for the fact that mom driving herself absolutely bonkers doesn’t do anyone in the family any good. If there’s one particular thing that you just really want to be “better” at (whatever your definition of that is), focus on that one thing, but let the rest go for the forseeable future and don’t beat yourself up over it. I worry about the parents that spend hours in the floor with the kids everyday, have a spotless house, cook everything from scratch and never yell…everyone always says the psychopath next door was “such a nice guy” ya know…

By: Sharon

Sharon — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 02:46:55 +0000

There’s a reason they call it the hardest job in the world!! I wasn’t a calm mother–always felt on edge and anxious. My boys are grown now and seem to have turned out just fine!! I remember hoping for twins when I was pregnant and then being so relieved that I didn’t have them after I found out how much work one baby was!