I’m an emotional eater. I get stressed, sad, angry or discouraged and I eat. I’ve pretty much been on some sort of diet my entire adult life. I do pretty good for a couple weeks and I might lose a few pounds. Heck, I might lose a lot of pounds. But then something will happen and it will all fall apart. Something like I’ll have a fight with my husband, or my kids will be particularly big assholes, or I step on the scale and don’t see an improvement.
I’ll get sad or angry and because I don’t generally keep snacks in my house (for fear of eating them), I’ll bake. I really enjoy baking! I really enjoy eating my baked goods, too.
I know I should go in and eat a carrot, but when I’m mad I don’t want a stupid carrot. I want an ooey gooey chocolate and caramel cookie. Or ten.
Last year I decided to participate in the Susan G. Komen 3 Day for the Cure. I had several reasons for wanting to walk, one of them being that I was bound to lose weight. Right? I mean, training for a 60 mile walk, one has to lose weight. Right? Right?
Well, guess what? I broke my foot. Do you know why I broke my foot? Because I was a fat girl trying to exercise!
Stress fracture. Too much walking, too soon, too fat. Talk about cupcake inducing depression.
I did complete the 3 Day walk (in a cast). I walked all but 10 miles on a very rainy day. I trained and walked even with a broken foot. Did I lose any weight? Nope. Not a single freaking pound. And even though I am extremely proud of what I accomplished, I was still discouraged by my lack of weight loss.
*sigh*
The walk has passed. I can’t wait to do it again this year! I’m still waiting for this stress fracture to heal. I’m still trying to watch my calories. I’m still fat.
So, my doctor suggested that I find a way to exercise that is low/no impact. This way I can get exercising without hurting my foot. I have friends with elliptical machines and they love them, so I started shopping Craigslist. There were several for around $150. So my mom gave me cash for my birthday so I could buy one. YAY mom! But as I started really researching the machines I was finding the same problem over and over again. These cheap elliptical machines wouldn’t support my weight.
Here I am. Too fat to walk. Too fat for an affordable elliptical machine (I can’t afford a $1000 machine!). And I want a cupcake.
This, my friends, is why fat people stay fat. You may think that we are weak or that we have no motivation. Trust me, getting kicked off the roller coaster because you’re too big IS motivation! People think that we get weight loss surgery because it is “easy.” But that isn’t true either. Fat people go shopping for weight loss equipment but can’t afford the heavyweight machines. We try to start walking and make goals to even start running, but then our own feet can’t support our weight. This is all very discouraging for me.
I want a cupcake.
Welcome to OhRheally?, My name is Rhea and I share stories of life raising 3 sons, my experiences as a (recently retired) 
OH, Rhea, I’m sorry you’re having a bad day (or few!) I understand! I’ve been dieting forever – and my husband decides he wants to lose 40 lbs and loses 50 in 3 months. He now weighs LESS than I do! It’s all very depressing! I’m sorry!
I can relate to the emotional eating…I just made 2 dozen Mocha cupcakes that I will most likely eat most of!
Why do men do that?? They suck. lol
They do!! LOL
I am totally right there with you! I am an emotional eater too. I used to be a size 6 (divorce diet), then I emotionally ate my way back up the scale to overweight. It’s like a circle of doom sometimes. I bought a gym membership, then broke my toe…then got sick…then Christmas came…etc., etc. Finally got back in this week…let’s hope I stay in…
Good luck, April. It’s a terrible cycle, I hope you can break it.
My husband has run into this issue many times. I bought myself an elliptical and spin bike, neither of which he can use bc of the 250 lb limit. I can imagine how discouraging that must be for you.
Do you have a local gym with a pool? I bet some daily swimming would burn some calories and you’d never have to touch the ground. Shoot, if I could swim, I’d do it myself.
Thanks Cat. We do not have an indoor/year round pool. Thanks for the hugs.
I’m sorry you’re feeling so bad, honey.
I am exactly like you…I don’t usually have snacks in the house, but, I do have cake mixes and it is so easy to whip up a cake…and then sit down and enjoy it.
Good luck with your weight loss journey.
I hear you, lady. I was doing good using the Biggest Loser Ultimate Workout video game for the Kinect, then I got a stomach virus, got out of my groove, and haven’t worked out since. *sigh* I wish you better weight loss success than I’ve had!
Oh Rhea, I’m so sorry you broke your foot. I’m an emotional eater too. Losing weight is one of the hardest things in life for anyone to do. I’m terrible with giving advice or lifting people up so all I can offer you are virtual hugs!! That’s what I would do if I saw you!
I’m so sorry, honey. I know how frustrating it is. No matter what people say to you (ie: You’ll lose it when you’re ready) is all bullshit. I’m here, in the great white north cheering you on!
I tend to be an emotional eater and love to bake too! I am one that tends to be allergic to excercise (j/k). I have wasted way too much money on gym memberships though.
I can totally relate. But I can share that I have a gazelle which I love when I actually do it, it helped me lose 60 pounds (i found all of them again and 50 of their fiends) BUT my point being it never broke. i forget what the weight limit was but it was high and I seriously doubt you’re heavier than I am and I had no issues with it. i bought it several years ago and there are a bunch of different options, i think the cheapest one had a low limit. but i was with you and struggling to find equipment that didn’t have s dumb limit that made me question why i was even bothering. iknow i paid less that 200 though
HA, you would be surprised at how much I weigh. It’s a very sad number
But, I was able to find an elliptical and my husband let me use tax money to get it. I’ll post about it later, but I’m really excited!
Awww…. you just have to find something to do make yourself feel better. You can try Yoga (although I think it’s boring) but many people love it and it would be low impact for you.
And maybe try some lower cal recipes since you like to bake. Substitute healthier things to make them less calories?erin
I am like that too…I’m thinking of going to weight watchers this week to get myself on a plan. I have to do SOMETHING. My already crappy knees are getting even crappier with the extra weight I’m carrying around.